I remember, around the age five years old, walking through the dining room and thinking "I am, I exist - I could have not been at all! How tremendously lucky!" With this thought there was an awed respect for fate for somehow having procured my escape from non-consciousness.Today, there is a sense that it is impossible that I could have not been. Even if this particular body had not been born in the physical world, I still would have been. Consciousness, life and existence are surely a miracle and a mystery, but I don't feel anymore that scared relief from having escaped the dungeons of oblivion, darkness, non-being; because, how can the clarity be dimmed, the void obliterated, the space closed off, my awareness not be? Elsa.