Reflection 72

Welcome!


You Are So Attractive!

As we grow up we become self-conscious, seeing ourselves as others see us – or at least as we think others see us. It goes without saying that becoming self-conscious is a vital part of growing up. But how distressing it can be if we don’t like our appearance. And how healing it can be if we see WHERE we keep our appearance – out there in the mirror and in other people, not HERE. Your face belongs out there – so, whatever you look like to others (actually you look very nice!), for yourself you have such a beautiful, clear, attractive no-face!

Here’s a true story from Head Off Stress by Douglas Harding:

Eighteen years old, good-looking and intelligent, Marjory was one of the young ladies at an expensive finishing-school where I’d been invited to conduct a workshop, in the course of which we carried out most of the experiments. The next day she came to me, in great distress. She had been too troubled, too uptight, to attend to what was going on in that workshop. In fact, for months she had felt suicidal. Life, she said, wasn’t worth living, and the main reason was that she was so ‘unattractive’. Her face – her nose in particular – was ‘horrible’. She hoped I could help, but very much doubted it.

It was no good telling Marjory that her nose was far less snub than she imagined, and that she was rather above average in looks. She just didn’t believe me. And it was no good suggesting that she study a selection of the many excellent handbooks on stress-reduction, or seek psychiatric treatment, or go in for meditation, or relaxation exercises. She was desperate, and summary measures were called for. Nothing less than an instant face-lift would do. I simply showed her where she kept that ‘horrible’ thing. I made clear to her how at that moment that thing was my business, my problem (or privilege), and not her business. It was enough. Enough, at that moment, to transfigure her face by relieving its stresses… Later, I learned that her teachers were astonished at the change in her. Since then, my infrequent contacts with Marjory confirm that the face-lift held. There had been nothing wrong with her appearance except its location.

Warm regards from Richard – who, I have to say, has an extremely attractive no-Face! (Clothed in a continually changing world!)


Please send your comments to Richard

Comments
Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful, helpful story! Byron.