The First Time
I don't think there was a 'first time'. Or, if there was, it was simply a becoming more aware of what one had all along been dimly aware of. How could there be a 'first-time' seeing into the Timeless, anyway? One occasion I do remember most distinctly - of very clear in-seeing. It had 3 parts. (1) I discovered in Karl Pearson's Grammar of Science, a copy of Ernst Mach's drawing of himself as a headless figure lying on his bed. (2) I noted that he - and I - were looking out at that body and the world, from the Core of the onion of our appearances. (3) It was clear that the Hierarchy, which I was then in the early stages of, had to begin with headlessness, and that this had to be the thread on which the whole of it had to be hung. The experience itself can't be remembered. It is only reactivated. Only NOW. One remembers only the scene and the occasion. Douglas Harding
To tell the truth, I cannot remember the first time.
Indeed, I feel that I have never had insight into my True Nature. However, I do
have insight into it right now! In reality I have never really lost it (what is
there to lose?) and so have never really looked for it. It has never really gone
and so has never really arrived. Colin.